Jeans: I Hates Them

I think someone would stand to make a gajillion dollars by inventing a pair of jeans that fit a post-pregnancy average mom body properly and well. I’m not talking about Brooke Shields (although she seems really nice and all) or anyone else with a personal trainer and “people” to whip them into shape. I’m talking about your average mom, who was formerly your averagely shaped woman. Having a baby changes your shape in more ways than I was really prepared for – nothing seems to fit right. And since jeans and a T shirt is pretty much my uniform I need a few good pairs, and I’m relying on you, internet, to help me find them. I’ll pay good money for a few good pairs that will last me a year or two without annoying me. But therein lies the challenge.

I always had challenges with fitting pants – I’m short so I quickly became very good at hemming pants but I don’t like the look of hemmed pants. I also disliked low rise jeans right from the get go – I want to be able to bend over and tie my shoe without giving the world a shot of my underwear or bum.  And I’ve never really been a fan of belts – primarly because I am short waisted and a belt just really drives that point home. So I’m not an easy person to fit into jeans, and I realize that.

Here’s my wish list:

  • boot cut or straight leg, and fairly slim fitting in the thigh, but relaxed in the hips and waist to fit my curves
  • come in a shorter length so I don’t have to hem them
  • dark denim
  • a high enough rise to cover the mom-pooch (aka: kangaroo pouch) so that I don’t muffin top out of my pants
  • a wider waist band so that it doesn’t cut into me
  • stretchy enough that if I wear them two times in a row they will still hold their shape
  • no gapping at the back

I found a pair of jeans I like from Reitmans, but not more than 3 weeks after buying them, the zipper started refusing to stay up. Because I’m cheap but had already recycled my receipt, I MacGuyver’ed them. Now I loop a little piece of ribbon over the button and through the zipper to make sure it stays up. It’s really inconvenient when I have to pee. I also found a pair at American Eagle Outfitters, but they are too low rise and slip down on me all the time.

This past weekend, I happened to be shopping at Marks Work Wearhouse, whose house brand is Denver Hayes, and I found a pair of jeans I like that almost meet all the wish list requirements. The exact pair I bought isn’t shown on their website, but these are pretty close. They are incredibly dark denim, and feature a silver embroidered feather on the back pockets. The contoured waistband is a huge plus, and although the cut is called Contemporary and is meant to sit just below the natural waist, I’m short waisted enough for them to actually sit a bit higher and while you might think that’s not good, to me it is. (See also: hide the mom pooch).

So far they haven’t lost their stretch after wearing them for close to eight hours, and they are really comfy. Have I finally found a pair of jeans? Time will tell.

For those of you just here for the Kale:

From Kale 1 Year to 18 months
From Kale 1 Year to 18 months
9 years ago

4 Comments

  1. Amen. I have more pairs of jeans than I like to admit and none them fits the way I want. I found one pair last year at Joe (Superstore) and they were awesome – and only $20! – and in the past year I have worn them out (I kneel a lot with the two small children) but when I went back recently to get an identical pair I ended up with a pair NOTHING LIKE the first pair even though the label was the same.

    And I lost the receipt or forgot or something. So I add them to the pile.

    This is how I turn into my father; you find something you love? BUY TEN OF IT.

  2. Try buying a petite size. As you know I am short too! lol
    The only way I can get a pair I don’t have to shorten is to buy petite (and sometime they are even too long). Hang in there someone will come up with a solution

  3. As a fellow rounded short woman, I feel your pain! Several of my friends have recently become devoted to some jeans they found at Roots. I think they are the Relax jean? They have all the features you’re looking for, with some stretch. I’ve personally typically had luck with Riders brand, but I get them at Target in the States (not sure if they are available in Cda now, though? maybe?) Good luck!

  4. I hate jeans too. I remember I once had two pairs (exactly the same because they fit well) of some Levi’s brand and made them last for 5 years. I was so sad when they died (and still have them around but they will never fit again and are threadbare). I’m currently rotating between two pairs of Joe brand (yes, Superstore) jeans that are just okay but okay is okay with me these days since Moira thinks I am a human serviette. Ideally I want to switch over to wearing dresses everyday – comfy wash & wear dresses of course, with thick wool tights. Someday…

    Sorry I have no advice.

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