Toddler (Un) Rage

Kale woke up from his nap yesterday angry and bleating and when I went in to find out What the Hecks was going on, he was holding his red little hand out like a bee had stung it and I realized that his hand must have fallen asleep and it took every single ounce of my strength not to laugh directly in his face as I “there, there”-d him and patted his bum and rubbed his hand, and put him back down to sleep.

There’s been a lot of moments like these lately. Moments where his sheer anger and frustration and TODDLER RAGE is actually laughable. I mean, there’s also been a relatively equal amount of moments where his TODDLER RAGE is, well, freakin’ pointless and I find the blood pressure rising because NO SERIOUSLY YOU CANNOT MOUNT THE DOG LIKE A HORSE FOR THE ELEVENTY BILLIONTH TIME.

Kale’s a fairly even-keeled kid, and I would like to think that’s because his parents display even-keeled behaviour around him. There have been a lot of times where after calmly reminding him that “no, Mooki doesn’t need another treat, she is sleeping and we should leave her alone”, I have had to go into the bathroom and silently ram my fist into my waiting palm a few times. Or bite my tongue or the inside of my cheek – those are fairly regular occurences. But for the most part, his moments of anger are short lived, easily distracted, and so far, have not ventured too far into that knock down full on tantrum that I FEAR FEAR FEAR.

Some good friends of ours (Hi Karina and Kevin) long ago told Ross and I the story of their daughter’s first tantrum, and how it lasted some ridiculous amount of time, like two hours or something, and how they realized that if they were in for a penny they were in for a pound and that when the ultimatum was issued about “‘until you comply with X, you can’t do X” they realized they needed to just RIDE. IT. OUT. And I remember as they were laughing and recounting this story to a childless Ross and I, that we were like deer in headlights and afterwards had a conversation in the car about “huh, wow, I hope that never happens to us!” Now I sit on the edge of sanity more or less 24/7 because I’m waiting for TODDLER RAGE to spring forth and a full on knock down tantrum to the nth degree to happen.

So far, Kale has only had quick fleeting moments and each time they pass I am like “Hallelujah, sistah,” under my breath. Because I tell ya, I fear the TODDLER RAGE and I think they can smell that – they’re like lions on the hunt and I am the weakest antelope looking like a nice, light snack. I can more or less hear him saying YOU ARE THE WEAKEST ANTELOPE. GOODBYE.

Kale is fun most of these days, which is a good case for a second child. The days when he is an arse – not so much. But truly, he’s a fun kid lately. For Easter, I gave him some glittery stickers to stick on some paper. That was apparently a major good time. Even afterwards, shredding the paper up into bits was also fun.

Stickers are Awesome.

And also some lovely smelling bubble bath. He has only had a bubble bath once or twice before because he has similar skin to mine that means he’s a bit sensitive to itchery. He LOVED it and splashed about partying it up.  Anyone have any tips out there for natural-ish bubblebath with little irritants?


And it was hard work, this Easter long weekend business. He did have a couple of mini eggs too, which he loved (of course). And he crashed hard for nap. So blissful when they are sleeping. Oy.

Crashed Out
12 years ago


  1. You do make me smile and remember. Both you and your brother were not much (at least that I can remember) for temper tantrums. Maybe because of his mellow nature “they” if “they” do happen will not be so bad. Better to be ready than not as when it does happen I guarantee it will not be in the quiet, isolation of your own home. It will be out there, for all to see and for all to say, “Can’t that mother keep her child in check” or “really, some peoples children” or the famous “my child would never do that”. Trust me it will happen, and most likely in public and it may last 5 seconds and be a simple “no” or the longest 10 seconds or a couple of minutes or even hours. But you will survive and look back years later and say “I don’t remember my child doing that, The kids of today get away with too much”. or “when my children were small I would not allow that to happen”. lol Hang in there no-one said raising kids was going to be easy. You are doing a great job. And above all else keep you sense of humor.

  2. KidA never had tantrums either. (Till he was like 3. Then they were more like arguments.) But never a knock down scream ’em out kick the crap outta ya tantrum. Some kids just aren’t wired that way.

    According to my mother, I never had a tantrum either 🙂

    OTOH, the other day, kidB actually cleared a spot around him on the floor so he could lie down and kick his feet and lose his mind. It was hilarious. I just went and did something in the other corner of the room. I suspect the next year of my life will be teaching me intimately about toddler rage.

    That sleeping photo – so sweet. Especially since my own small demon decided to forgo sleep for the entire long weekend. Arghbleh.

  3. Reminds me of the good ol’ days. There are no more entertaining tantrums. I think Hannah still had maybe two of them when she was seven. With Kyle, it used to be a great excuse to take him to Home Depot to distract him with the fan display.

  4. Hi.
    Have you tried Burts Bees bodywash as bubble bath?
    We like Lush stuff as well.
    heh heh, yeah, Jenna was 18 months and we made her pick up the 3 peas that she had deliberately thrown on the floor. “tidy up”! And she raged for like, an hour and a half. We had to take turns dealing with her.
    Caden has had similar tantrums but not so long, I think the worst tidy up tantrum was like, 15 mins? Now they both just comply. Most of the time. 😉
    Remember the danger times for tantrums– when they are Tired and/or Hungry/thirsty, coupled with overstimulation (like, at the grocery store). I often have a bait n switch item handy– like, the car keys or something else to distract him with. “We can’t do That right now, but look, here’s something fabulous!” Or Food. Food mostly works.
    Squeeky dog toys also seem to work- I grab one from the rack and Caden squeeks it around the store, and then we don’t buy it. Might not work for Kale cause you have squeeky toys at home.
    Just an idea.

  5. If you can find it, we LOVE California Baby products- probably the most popular natural line in the US. Druide has a foaming bath product, and a couple of others. When we (nurtured) gets our new line in, I’ll let you know.

  6. Moira is a full-blown rager these days. It doesn’t happen so much out of the house (where she is charming and single-handedly convincing our friends to have babies) but at home she can rage for what seems like hours. I’m sure the longest one was probably 45 mintues but that was also on a day where she woke up foul and raged off and on all day – and that night she told me her mouth hurt and showed me where the new molar was coming in. I’m getting good a spoting the triggers but that doesn’t always prevent a tantrum. When Moira is like that she mostly just needs to be left alone to work it out (we make sure she is somewhere she can’t hurt herself) but with the knowledge that we are close by for her when she is ready to be distracted. I find other people want to talk to her or ask her lots of questions when she is going through a full-blown tantrum and I have to keep telling them to STOP TALKING TO HER! Because it seriously just makes things worse. I went out last night and she was over tired and her pleas of “Mommy stay home!” didn’t work so she tantrumed for 30 minutes while the Mister left her alone but asked her a couple times if she wanted to go to bed. After the 30 minutes she came to him, asked for her “nap & bottle” (meaning she wanted to go to sleep) and was more than happy to go to bed. I certainly don’t wish any of this on you.

    1. I’m really thankful we haven’t seen it yet – BUT I’m totally getting prepared for it to happen just in case. I worry about this a lot, probably too much. 🙂

  7. love your blog!

    had to comment because i too am scared to freaking death of the toddler rage. my little guy is two next week and it’s showing. i wouldn’t say he’s had a real tantrum-tantrum just yet, but lots of “i want i want i want i want” and whining and the occasional emotional outburst of course, along with times where he’s absolutely frustrating but easy enough to distract or comfort – so far. but i’m just waiting for the full on pitch to the floor and screaming and eek…

    as far as bubble bath goes – we use burts bees bubbles (the liquid, not the foaming milky stuff). it’s really gentle – i have eczema and it doesn’t irritate.

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