Things are status quo around here. I like that phrase, “status quo“. It is stable, and mundane and predictable.
Kale alternates between unhappy toddler and charming little boy and some days I have a million levels of patience for him to chip away at, and other days I am hair-trigger to his pushing, his testing, his prodding. Some days I am ashamed at my parenting. Some days I am full of empty threats and rhetorical questions and caustic sarcasm. Like all things, it ebbs, it flows.
Someone asked me recently if I was still happy at home and the answer is still unequivocally and emphatically “yes” but there are moments when I think it would simply be so much easier, so much less goddamned drudgery if I could drop Kale off somewhere each morning and head off to work, and live in the land of adults and talk about things like TPS reports and that new electric car they just came out with and isn’t it a shame about that tornado. Some days I miss the camaraderie of an office – with the jokes and the hockey pools and the mutual dislike of bosses and the ergonomics. Many days I do not miss it. At. All.
At home I am picking up 35 pound little boys and contorting my back and digging digging digging in the garden and grabbing computer time when I can to do a few minutes of work. At home I am staring into a deep freeze hoping something will jump out at me and say “Cook me for dinner! I will be tasty and take little effort!” There is no water cooler at home. My lunch table friends are online with me on Twitter or Facebook and while I truly believe you can build communities with people online, it is not the same. At home, Kale and I flutter from one thing to the next in an endless loop of life. Breakfast, play, crafts, baking, outside time, lunch, nap, WORK WORK WORK, dog walk, dinner. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Drudgery traps me and attracts me. I feel like the buttered toast cat most days.
Today Kale and I are going to bake some cookies because it is grey and rain and I don’t want to go out anywhere. I am tired of the rain. I try hard to not whine and moan about the weather – I’ve learned there is no point in whining about the weather – but I am starting to reach a bit of a breaking point with it. Screw you, rain, you are making me melancholy and sad. Maybe the rain is why I am writing this whiny post.
Here is Kale and I sticking out our tongues at the rain:
I went to a blog conference this past Friday and Saturday. I learned some fun new tools. I enjoyed myself. The weather was nice on Friday and there was a party with a candy bar! A candy bar! How awesome is that? The world needs more candy bars.
How was your weekend, friends?