The Tank is Empty

It is day one of Spring Break and I’m already pretty much done with “Mom I want to tell you something” and “Mom do you want to see my [game/thing I’m obsessed with]?” and “What time is it?” (Why there is a fascination for knowing the time at all times I do not know but I really wish Kale could wrap his brain around the fact that there is a clock! In his room! That he can read! By himself! WITHOUT ME!)

I have found myself lately really enjoying this nearly-seven phase but I also find myself so desperately disinterested in the things that make Kale’s heart sing. I do not care for Minecraft or other video games or Geronimo Stilton (as much as I love that he’s reading) or some of the other obsessions. I have mastered the art of the “oh yeah, that’s neat, wow, tell me more, I bet you like it” distracted listening where I am not listening at all, and I chide myself with regularity about not being all there when he talks with me. It is a struggle to pay attention to him. I lack the focus I insist he maintain.

Work is lovely and busy with wonderful clients and I feel like my job finally is a regular thing and not some dalliance I dabble in when my child is asleep. But it also means I think about projects in my off time, and I have deadlines and business-y type stuff that needs to be completed with predictability and precision.

Still life with bike #newwestproject

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Maybe this is just “Spring” and my brain is waking up and reminding me I have been cocooning in my evenings, when I really should be moving my muscles, talking with my incredible spouse, or working on the house projects that we have like the new bathroom sitting in boxes in my basement or the gi that I haven’t even managed to cut out the pattern for. Truthfully, I feel a bit run down lately. Tired, not sleeping great, insomnia. I acknowledge that I need a boost and a recharge.

Fortunately, we are going on vacation at what feels like just the right time. Well done, me of last year that thought to book the vacation. We are going to Maui again, the wonderful, lovely, beachy family-friendly island we first visited in 2012. The house/dog/chicken sitter is booked and all emergency contacts have been reminded they are an emergency contact. My to-do list in preparation of this vacation is exhausting – I’ve spent about two weeks coming up with lists, (because I love lists to stay focused and on target) and then crossing things off lists (because I love that even more).

I have three blog drafts to play with (including the promised Camp Food one), five books that need my face in them, and three swimsuits packed and ready to go. I have my ridiculous floppy sun hat and movie star sunglasses and sensible walking sandals packed which will double as my dress shoes while I’m there. I have set up vacation responders and made sure all clients know who to talk to about their projects. Today, I hit Inbox Zero and need to keep it that way until we leave.

We have been so incredibly fortunate this winter here on the West Coast, with nothing more than a dusting of snow and unusual, big, wide, prairie winter sky with bright cold sunshine and mild temperatures. A friend remarked to me the other day that they felt like this winter was the winter their seasonal depression was the least it had ever been.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t all need a sunny and warm boost. I can’t wait to feel it on my face.

3 years ago