They feel less urgent now, the parenting moments.
Today was Kale’s first day of middle school (a whole one hour of school that prompted me to have to take the day off work) and we arrived at school and I had no clue who the teachers might be and frankly, didn’t really care. We hadn’t finished buying all of the supplies on the list and I swear to God it was June 30 like one day ago. But I’m unconcerned now and what will be will be.
Parenting comes easier now, like a heartbeat ca-thumping away in my chest rather than an avalanche of feelings and panic. Parenting is less about the physical (sleep! food! pooping! teeth! skinned knees!) and more about the brain. We work through his feelings and emotions and he asks me what words – very adult words – mean, and rather than avoid them I face them head on. Parenting now is an act of bravery. I guess that’s why they make baby books but not childhood books.
We spent this summer teaching him to navigate home on transit home and bestowed dog walking responsibilities on him (with some reservations – our dog outweighs him). I have a new job now that has me out of the house full time. This past month he has been dropped off at home from camp with another parent and walked the dog with no problems at all. So this past week I gently suggested I thought he was ready to take transit home from camp on his own and he jumped at the chance. And boom – it was done.
I won’t be blogging much about Kale anymore here without his permission. I think the time has come where his feelings are more important than my wish to share. They always have been important – you’ll see there are no naked baby pictures and perhaps only one screaming crying face photo and hardly any mentions of his personal tough times – but now his permission will be needed to share all the stories. They’re his stories as much as mine, and besides, it would be nice for me to share stories that aren’t always related to being a parent.