I have been writing here since my child was only a few weeks old and this blog actually weighs on my mind. I don’t know what to do with it; I wrote too much and shared too much and maybe that’s a good thing and maybe it’s awful and I vacillate between both on any given day. I have had people reach out to tell me that they read my post and it helped with their new parent journey and I have had people tell me they liked my recipe and I have had people tell me they liked the things I said. (I’ve also had people say not nice things but those people can take a hike.)
Recently I have been writing poetry again (I know, right?) and I don’t know what the format of them should be for me to put them out into the world or even if the world wants them. Should they be spoken word so that you can hear the rise and fall of my voice as I tumble the words out the way I intend them or should they be written and published here or somewhere else online or should I keep saving them until one day I can be more than a contributor?
“Why do I write?” she wondered to herself as she typed a blog post about her writing.
“I have no fucking idea,” she replied.
I have less time for writing now but the writing I do feels much more like my voice and less like the happy blogger voice I wore like a cloak to get views and subscribers and monetization opportunities that never came because I am fundamentally too lazy to put in the work that is required to become an “influencer”. I break all the rules of blogging and my posts are too long and contain too much text and not enough headings and photos to be considered good Google Juice and I do not give any goddamned figs whatsoever.
I mean no offense when I say I don’t want to write for you anymore, but I admit I want you to read what I write. Should I consider a new site or perhaps a newsletter format? Should I burn it all down and start over, start fresh, like a brand new notebook, or merely turn the page and acknowledge the scribbles behind me?